Never Forget When Joe Paterno Pooped His Pants

9/23/06 – Midway through the second quarter, Paterno makes a dash for the Penn State locker room and doesn’t return until the third quarter.

Punting from his own endzone, on the road, against the #1 team in the country made Joe’s internal cup runneth over. JoePa Became JoePOO.

And so, runneth across the field JoePa did. In the middle of a play. Notice the color of his pants (black) as he lumbers, gingerly, through the middle of the field and through the endzone.

Joe knew where the restroom was and didn’t care what it took to get there. As the old saying goes, “Never trust a Fart.” Joe trusted a fart.

“Is that Joe running all the way across the field? Is Joe Paterno in the endzone?” – Brad Nessler

“Is he going to the bathroom? – Pat Hayden

Then famed sideline reporter Bonnie Bernstein makes an appearance after halftime and makes a pun about “Coach Paterno having the runs.”

He later claims he had the flu, but doesn’t mention why he was wearing black pants in the first half and khakis in the second half.

Happy Valley? More like “Crappy Valley.”

Nittany Lions? “Shittany Lions.”

“Pooterno.”

I don’t want to “poo poo” the issue.

Judging by the towel adorning his neck in the second half, it looks like he took a shower. Which explains what kind of mess he made inside his Bugle Boys.

From an anonymous poster on a P-U I mean PSU message board:

“One of my best friends played at PSU at the time this incident. He explained to me that since the game was on the road at OSU, Joe did not have a change of clothes at the stadium. The one assistant coach that did have an extra pair of pants on site was coach Larry Johnson Sr. If you look up pictures of Joe’s second pair of pants that day you can see how oversized they are which coincides with Larry’s physique.

Just over 5 years later on 11/9/11, Joe Paterno was fired for his role in the Penn State child sex abuse scandal.

Which means that on the day he took a big dump in his pants and proved his incontinence on the field, he was well on his way to dumping out the incompetence he displayed off of it.

Upon his ouster, his career was tarnished as badly as the inside of those black pants must’ve been once he hit the head at Ohio State’s famed Horseshoe.