Hatred is a burden too heavy to bear. Hatred often stems from the idea that we have been personally wronged by the other person, but harboring these thoughts and spending time with them can cause us stress. Hopefully, as humans, we have the power to change the way we think, react, and process these emotions. In our daily chores, we deal with people; they are not robots. It’s easy for them to make mistakes, and I want to share some simple ways to break free of hate and lessen the burden it carries.
- Consider why. We should first consider why we feel this person has wronged us and ask ourselves whether the offense is really serious enough to cause us to feel a strong dislike for that person. If not, this should be reason enough to reduce this burden.
- Keep yourself busy. Find what makes you happy and pursue that happiness. Go to a ball game, call a friend for lunch, anything so you don’t get overwhelmed by the hate.
- Change your perspective. We often see things through cold eyes in anger. Changing your overall perspective on a situation will often change your inner attitude. More willing to forgive.
- Think on the bright side. It’s hard to lose a relationship with someone you trust, but remember, it also means you’ve removed someone from your inner circle who may not be worthy of your trust—someone who doesn’t support you. Now that this potentially toxic person is out of your life, you will have the time and space to truly live your best life. It also means you’ve made space for someone worthy of your time and love.
- It’s just fake! When you pretend to be happy and content long enough, the chemicals in your brain change. Eventually, you will truly feel and experience what you are showing.
- Practice gratitude. If you find yourself focusing on hatred or anger, stop immediately and try naming three things you are grateful for in that moment. Now that you’ve regained control of your day, you can move forward with peace of mind. The more you express gratitude, the less control hate will have over you.
- For many people, strong emotions are not something they like to hide. Before you upset your family and friends by posting all your feelings on Facebook or sharing nasty remarks about your enemies on Instagram, write an informed and rational essay privately. It allows you to safely process your emotions in a safe space while releasing the burden of hate.
- Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. The weak can never forgive. My old man recently said “Forgiveness is for you, not others.” This was after a heated argument with my supervisor. I couldn’t fathom the idea of forgiving him at the time. He is right. I am happy to be back focused on my goals and life.
Hate is a base and degrading emotion so toxic that no one is strong enough to use it safely. The hatred we think we have directed at someone will come back to us in an evil way. When we seek revenge, we inject ourselves with a slow poison.
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