A woman vented on an advice forum about how her best friend called her children “spoiled brats.”
No, he wasn’t causing chaos in the store, stomping his feet and demanding he had to eat a lollipop, or acting like Satan the moment she told him it was time to leave.
In other words, he was just toddling and crying.
“I asked her not to call my child that because I didn’t want it to damage his self-esteem.”
On the “Am I a Jerk” forum, this mom explained that her best friend doesn’t have kids and hasn’t been around a lot of kids before.
Lately, she’s been spending a lot of time with her two-year-old, which means witnessing the range of emotions the toddler goes through, such as suddenly going from happy to sad.
“When he didn’t get what he wanted, he would scream and cry,” she said.
Standard toddler behavior, right?
Apparently not, according to her friends.
On a recent day, the friend was around the toddler and told OP he was a “spoiled brat.”
“I explained to her that he was only two years old and struggling to regulate his emotions,” she said. “I then asked her not to call my child ‘brat’ or anything else because I didn’t want it to damage his self-esteem.”
The mother went on to say that her son’s teacher always said he was “the sweetest, happiest kid in the class.”
“He is still a child! Children do this!”
At first, her friend apologized, but immediately followed with this statement: “I don’t think I’ll ever come over again because you want to be mad about something stupid.”
When the OP tried to reiterate her boundaries, explaining, “I’m not angry, just don’t call my kids names,” her friend didn’t seem to quite understand and continued to ignore her for the rest of the night.
Now, the woman is wondering if she was wrong to be so upset about it.
“It makes me sad to see people call my baby a ‘spoiled brat’ because he’s crying. He’s a little kid! Little kids do that!” she concluded.
“That’s totally not okay”
Commenters quickly made the mom realize there was absolutely nothing wrong with her being upset by her friend’s comments.
One of the top comments said: “‘I don’t think I’ll ever come here again'” – sounds like the problem has been solved for me. She meant it as a threat to get you to say you were happy she was being rude to your child, but I would take her at her word and not let her do it again. “
Another chimed in, reiterating: “No… you’re not wrong. This is totally not OK.”
A third person blatantly called OP’s friend a “jerk.”
Others then suggested there might be deeper issues at play. “Her ‘angsty about stupid things’ response suggests there’s something else going on besides her being a little annoyed with your kids. Honestly, it sounds like she’s addressing other issues in your relationship.”
“Some people cross the line when the child is not their own, and there’s nothing wrong with reminding them that there is a line there. They are your You can define appropriate boundaries, baby,” another user pointed out.
‘She has some serious studying to do’
Others took issue with the friend’s use of the term “spoiled brat.”
One person wrote: “I don’t understand why when kids have a tantrum or are upset about something they always go to the ‘spoiled child’.
“When a child throws a tantrum and a parent says, ‘Okay, stop crying and I’ll give you ice cream/a toy/tablet, etc.,’ that’s being spoiled, or being a brat.” That can go bad.
“Allowing children to experience and learn to deal with their own emotions is not ‘spoiling’ them.”
Others then agreed, adding: “Any parent who calls your child a spoiled brat needs to do some serious studying.”
