Dear Abby: Is it wrong to ask my biological mother for financial help? I was adopted when I was two months old. I was lucky to have wonderful parents, but they had poor health and it affected both of them physically. I was going to go into debt trying to help them out of their financial troubles. Their regular income barely covers their expenses. Was I wrong to ask my birth mother for help? We meet occasionally. My biological mother sold her house and was not affected financially. I don’t want to sound entitled. I just needed some help, but I was ready to say no. — entitled to anything?
Dear subject: Your biological mother has no responsibility to support the couple who adopted you, especially since demands for money will continue. You said you only saw her occasionally. (If you do what you’re considering, you may see her less often.) If your parents still have relatives, you may have some success if you ask them for financial help. If not, contact your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance.
Dear Abby: My husband “Dan” and I have been separated for four months. Now we are reunited. However, his son “Ryan” told me he never wanted to see me again. I wrote him a letter expressing my remorse and invited him to visit, but received no reply. Ryan avoids me now. My husband wants to invite him to visit but I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want to be his mistress. what should I do? — Reunion West Virginia
Dear Back: IF Dan invited Ryan to visit and IF Ryan agreed with a smile on his face and became the most gracious hostess since Perle Mesta. (If you don’t know who she is, look her up.) Your husband may be able to restore harmonious family relationships through mediation. If his son takes your departure as a personal rejection, Dan may be able to dismiss the idea and mend the relationship.
Dear Abby: I was recently discharged from hospital. The family told my husband to call me if there was anything they could do to help. This left my husband with one more thing to do – make a phone call. I’d like to suggest a better way to help.Family please call Tell My husband what exactly do you want? like Do help. Some examples: Bring a meal. Run some errands and sit next to me while my husband goes out to run errands, etc. I think the best thing anyone can do is bring a meal. It’s one less thing for the caretakers to do. Food does not have to be homemade; it can be purchased. Patients and caregivers still need to eat. Thank you, Abby, for letting me say this. — Glad to be home
Dear Happy: Your point is well understood. you are right. It never hurts to volunteer to do something you can to help someone recover from a medical procedure. Some suggestions: do some marketing or laundry, or pick up the kids from school and take them to the park to burn off some energy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jeanne Phillips) and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
